By Helen Lucas

Researchers from Washington University in St Louis think we do. By recording periodic snippets of conversation as a group of volunteers went about their daily lives, they learned that the happiest participants had twice as many substantive conversations and engaged in one third as much small talk as the unhappiest participants.

We’ve long known that social interaction, however perfunctory, increases happiness overall. But this research suggests that humans gain disproportionate benefit from in-depth conversations as opposed to shallow chit chat.

The assumption is that certain business cultures, including Britain’s, demand a relatively high level of small talk before it’s acceptable to move on to big talk.

In fact, you’ll rarely cause offense by steering the conversation away from aimless banter. Lots of people find it stressful, frustrating or a waste of time. In most cases, the communication crime is more likely to be committed when we move far too rapidly from talking about the weather to talking about things that matter most to us.

The trick is to ensure you take the all-important interim step of asking about real people - their colleagues, your colleagues, mutual friends and, especially, themselves. Once you’ve moved away from general chit chat and towards your counterparty’s specific priorities and views you’ve earned the right to move to big talk.

Small talk has a place. It can be reassuring, it builds familiarity and can certainly fill the time walking from reception area to meeting room. But a substantive conversation is one that engages your counterparty because it is about them.

Here’s more information on the study:

Psychological scientists Matthias R. Mehl, Shannon E. Holleran, and C. Shelby Clark from the University of Arizona, along with Simine Vazire of Washington University in St. Louis investigated whether happy and unhappy people differ in the types of conversations they tend to engage in.
Volunteers wore an unobtrusive recording device called the Electronically Activated Recorder (EAR) over four days. This device periodically records snippets of sounds as participants go about their lives. For this experiment, the EAR sampled 30 seconds of sounds every 12.5 minutes yielding a total of more than 20,000 recordings. Researchers then listened to the recordings and identified the conversations as trivial small talk or substantive discussions. In addition, the volunteers completed personality and well-being assessments.
As reported in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, analysis of the recordings revealed some very interesting findings. Greater well-being was related to spending less time alone and more time talking to others: The happiest participants spent 25% less time alone and 70% more time talking than the unhappiest participants. In addition to the difference in the amount of social interactions happy and unhappy people had, there was also a difference in the types of conversations they took part in: The happiest participants had twice as many substantive conversations and one third as much small talk as the unhappiest participants.
These findings suggest that the happy life is social and conversationally deep rather than solitary and superficial. The researchers surmise that -- though the current findings cannot identify the causal direction -- deep conversations may have the potential to make people happier. They note, “Just as self-disclosure can instill a sense of intimacy in a relationship, deep conversations may instill a sense of meaning in the interaction partners.”